Tainted by Evil 2: Taint Harder
by Unhobbity Hobbit
Summary: Dean's not feeling himself, whatever could the cure be? Not a sequel, despite the title.


An idea spawned by girlfan1979. The title is an homage to longhairedlady's _Tainted by Evil_, a story with a very similar premise.

Tainted be Evil 2: Taint Harder

"Oh my god, Sam, _no!_" Dean rolled off the bed in an impressively athletic move, considering his current state. Sam held his hands out placatingly in front of him.

"Look, Dean, I don't want to do it, but it's the only thing that'll work." Dean glanced at Sam and then over Sam's shoulder at the door, obviously regretting the side of the bed he'd chosen to roll off. Sam took a slow and calm step closer.

"Fuck you." Dean stumbled back further. "Fuck you, you are not... nothing's going to... No, Sam!"

"I don't want to do it, either, but we don't have a choice, Dean."

"Oh really? 'Cause I think you are enjoying this, I think you're really enjoying watching me freak out. Is this fun for you?" Sam took a deep breath to stop himself being swept away with Dean's hysteria.

"Dean, you're getting paranoid. I promise you, I wouldn't even think about doing this if it wasn't the only possible way of making you better."

"Then... then..." Dean's eyes darted around as he tried find an end to his sentence. "Then we just don't make me better! It'll be fine!"

"You have horns."

"I'll wear a hat."

"And blue skin."

"We can tell people it's a skin condition." Sam nodded solemnly, humouring his brother the best he could.

"And the tail?"

"...I'll only go out on Halloween." Sam didn't even consider dignifying that with an answer.

"Dean please. It'll be quick, you'll hardly feel anything." Dean actually properly concentrated on Sam for the first time since Sam announced the plan, his search for an escape route briefly sidelined.

"How the hell would you know that?"

"That... doesn't matter right now." Sam used Dean's new-found focus and put a little more urgency into his voice. But not so much urgency as to set Dean off. Sam had the distinct feeling that if he pushed too hard, Dean would have very few qualms with throwing himself out the window just to get away. "What matters is that if we don't do this, you'll carry on changing and then, well, I don't know." Sam pulled out his biggest weapon. "I don't want to lose you, Dean." Dean fiddled with his tail as he considered Sam's words.

"You're absolutely sure it's the only way?" Sam nodded. "You called Bobby to check?"

"And Ellen and any of Dad's contacts I thought might be able to help."

"Shit, Sam, shout it from the rooftops why don't you?"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, but this really is the only way. God knows I've looked for a different way, but we don't have a choice." Dean nodded reluctantly and climbed back onto the bed. He took a few deep breaths and pointedly did not look at the door.

"So, are you... ready?" he said, eyeing the plastic bag of... whatever it was that was needed that Sam had brought back with him.

"Yeah... yeah, just give me a sec."

"Shit, is that it?" said Dean when he caught sight of Sam's equipment. Sam grimaced.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure if anything smaller would work." Dean opened his mouth to say something but then thought better of it. "It'll probably be easier if you're on your front," Sam suggested.

"Yeah yeah..." said Dean rolling his verging-on-unnaturally blue eyes. He lay down on his front and pulled his pants down, exposing his bare ass. "This is really fuckin' weird."

* * *

"So, how're you feeling?" Sam asked carefully.

"Much better, actually. Definitely not feeling the urge to make myself a nest in a sewer any more. How do I look?"

"About as human as ever." Dean nodded vaguely upon hearing that news. A slightly uncomfortable silence descended over the both of them. At least until Dean couldn't contain himself any longer.

"What kind of sick and twisted mind looks at a situation like that and thinks 'oh hey, a holy water enema will sort that guy right out'?"

"The kind that saves your ass?"

"Not the point, dude! Not the point."

The End.

Weren't expecting that, were you?

Unless you were. If so, I salute you.


End file.
